Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
