i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize