i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
