Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So many bounce houses so little time
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
