sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize