yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
