On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
