I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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