Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
