have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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