Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
