alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
