3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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