a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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