Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
