exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize