Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
