i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
