You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
