she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
