So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
