My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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