I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
