Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize