know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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