I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
