shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
