I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
...so i touched it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
