I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm like, not good at living.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
