Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize