when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
