When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
