Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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