it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Slut skills are useful in every country.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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