we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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