After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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