I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize