it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
