The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize