I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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