the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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