Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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