i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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