weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We named our party play list daddy issues
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
