I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
