How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
