Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
