just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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