Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
