That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
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I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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