I am in a vortex of obligation.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
