its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
