I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
