White coat. Heels.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize