Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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